
Sweater weather? We’ll have two brrrrrrrbons neat, thanks.
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This is the time of year that people start having holiday parties (not that we would know, but that’s what Facebook tells us). Among the many kinds of parties — office holiday parties, cocktail parties, cookie decorating parties, dinner parties, key parties — our favorite is the “Ugly Christmas Sweater” party. We more fondly refer to these as “AWESOME SWEATER TIME WITH CASUAL ACQUAINTANCES AND MULLED WINE.”
We’re not sure what these sweaters did to get such a bad rap; what’s better than a cozy pullover covered in wild game and some healthy conifers? Honestly, not much. Is it the animals? A few geese get in the way of a plane that manages to land unharmed and suddenly they’re a national safety threat, but Amanda Bynes just runs people down with her car and we’re all just supposed to be okay with it? Give us a break.
Also, holiday sweaters mean you can coordinate your outfit with your meal. Christmas goose and Christmas goose? Yes, please! We’ll have seconds!
However, holiday sweaters are like prescription bottle tops or Spanx — they’re kind of tricky to pull off. The key to wearing sweaters like these is to choose them the same way HR chooses office holiday decorations: don’t get too Christmasy. It’s like the separation of church and state; start to blur the line and everyone is going to yell at you.
So feel free to pick your favorite woodland creature and tear up eBay this week. May as well get reacquainted with the site now; where else are you going to sell the hand-knitted toilet seat cover and economy-size bottle of generic vitamins your adult niece gave you?
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Left to right, top to bottom: Sheep sweater, $19.99; Fox sweater, $14.99; Duck sweater, $9.99; Penguin sweater, $24.99; Polar bear sweater, $50; Deer sweater, $44.99.
(all via eBay)