Photo: Zara

Printed Pants: How to Wear Them and What to Eat

We love pairing wines with cheese, and beers with cheese, and pretty much everything ever with cheese, so we figured we might as well stop delaying the inevitable and start pairing our pants with food, too.

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jacket quiz hb

Quiz: What Fall Jacket Should You Buy?

Take our quiz to find out what fall jacket you should buy! (well, at least what jacket you should buy MORE of–we cannot imagine a world where we only have one).

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Panama hat-1

What Your Summer Headwear Says About You

Wearing a hat can say a lot, like, “I didn’t shower again today.” Let us walk you through what people see when they check out what’s on your head.

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We Bought It, We Wore It, We Loved It: Equipment Sleeveless Silk Blouse

Photo: The Outnet

Photo: The Outnet

It’s no secret that we love our button down silk blouses the same way most people love their children.  We take them out for ice cream, we would do anything to protect them from the elements, and we’re constantly showing strangers pictures of them on our phones.  Plus, we know firsthand the financial strain of being a parent — our dry cleaning bills aren’t far off from some college tuition prices.

With summer only 18 bottles of whiskey away (wait, everyone doesn’t measure time in consumption of alcohol?), it’s high time we start planning our warm-weather wardrobes.  The combination of steamy subway stations and long walks to get from our offices to the nearest bar is a recipe for sweating through all of our clothes.  Nobody wins — except the antiperspirant-industrial complex.

Unfortunately, for a natural fiber, silk is surprisingly unforgiving (not unlike its biggest fans, us).  But, the thought of abandoning our favorite fabric and cut for an entire season is inconceivable.

The best way we know how to deal with this is to go sleeveless.  This option from Equipment is a great choice: we love the bright print, the breezy cut, and the price.  Plus, as long as we aren’t wearing our hearts on our sleeves (since we have none — hearts or sleeves), we might as well wear it on our blouses.

When it comes down to it, summer silk blouses should be like North Korea: unarmed.

(via The Outnet)

The Golden Rule: Sunglasses

Photo: Barneys New York

Photo: Barneys New York

The number one thing we have in common with pirates is a love of gold (number two? pushing people off of boats).  We find ourselves appreciating gold in all sorts of places: in our jewelry boxes, on our buttons, in vaults owned by ducks, and sprinkled on top of our desserts.  Our favorite appearance of gold these days, however, is on our sunglasses.

We’re not talking about the flashy, logo-emblazoned styles popularized by pre-rehab Lindsay Lohan and various Jersey Shore cast members.  No, we like our gold accents like we like our celebrity sex tapes–tasteful and real-looking.

In fact, the only time we anticipate being okay with wearing sunglasses with more than a touch of gold is when we’re living together in a condo in Boca Raton and getting away with stealing cashews from grocery stores just because we’re old.  So, like, three years from now.

Hunt & Gather: Spring Sweaters

spring-sweaters

The weather is finally starting to warm up after too long of a winter, but like a doctor that accepts Groupon, we don’t trust it.  It can still get chilly in the spring, and the last thing you want is to be caught with goosebumps–and we don’t mean the sexy kind, a.k.a. the books by R.L. Stine.

Spring sweaters are an odd breed, kind of like a steroidal ferret being sold as a toy poodle (that’s a thing that actually happened).  You may have wanted your winter sweaters to do things like keep you warm or hide your pumpkin spice latte-related weight gain, but you want your spring sweaters to do basically the opposite.  They should be light and loose, showing off that you’ve been aggressively attending daily Caribbean Aerobics AND Strictly Step classes at Lucille Roberts.  Not only should the colors complement the white jeans we can finally break out for the season, but they should also match the enormous amount of fresh produce we plan to consume in our cocktails (what the hell is a salad and why do people keep telling us to eat them?!).

Top to bottom, left to right, top to bottom: Zara, $25.90; Acne Studios, $210; Helmut Lang, $210; Madewell, $69.50;  J.Crew, $65; Reiss, $120.

Wear This Not This: Peplums

wear this not this peplum

Seeing as we’ve never been fans of anything that adds inches to our waists (okay, except maybe carrot cake, wine, bagels, bourbon, cheese, pizza, cheese pizza, Cadbury Crème Eggs, nachos, bacon, fries, and white bread), it shouldn’t come as a surprise that initially we wanted nothing to do with the peplum trend.  But, if we can let Katy Perry and natural peanut butter (ugh, stirring) infiltrate our lives, then there’s probably room for a peplum or two.

Assuming you don’t want to waste the results of your month-long cleanse, stay away from styles that add bulk and instead opt for peplums that fall closer to the body.  It’s the difference between a ruffle and a structured panel around your waist.  It’s Fettuccine versus Farfalle.  Which pasta shape would you rather have wrapped around what should be the slimmest part of your body?  Obviously Fettuccine — we would wrap ourselves in that.  Maybe with a little butter, some parsley, a nice white wine sauce.  And clams.  And fresh Parmesan.  And a loaf of garlic bread on the side.

Sorry, we’re having cleanse-induced carbohydrate hallucinations.  We’re on day two.

(left and right images via Revolve Clothing)

Heavy Browsing Holiday Wish List: 2012 Edition

We know that if you’ve been bad you get a lump of coal in your stocking (which, to be honest, sounds kind of awesome—you can totally use it to barbeque come summer), and if you’ve been good, you get rewarded with awesome presents.  Well, we don’t want to toot our own horns (yes we do), but we’ve been pretty good this year.  We didn’t put all of our drinks on our college enemy’s bar tab without her knowing even though it would have been super easy that one night.  We didn’t run on stage during our niece’s dance recital because we hate when she gets more attention than we do.  We didn’t set our neighbor’s car on fire for blocking the UPS guy the day he was supposed to deliver our new Rag & Bone boots.  Yeah, we know, we deserve some gifts.
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Unfortunately, gift-buying can be difficult.  So, in an effort to avoid another year of our parents giving us gym memberships and GMAT prep books (thanks, we get the hint) we put together this list of the things we really want.  Since we’re always thinking ahead, just in case your family and friends don’t come through this year, we’ve also included some helpful tips on acquiring these yourself.
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Also, we looked into it, turns out you can’t buy “Jon Hamm being your husband” online.

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commes

via Saks Fifth Avenue

The Wish:  Comme des Garcons, Low-Top Canvas Sneakers, $100.
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The Why:  These are perfect for all those times we’re sprinting to catch the train, or racing to get to the dry cleaners before they close, or purposely hurling ourselves in front of cars so that Ryan Gosling will save (and then obviously marry) us.
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The How:  Need $100?  Just spend one night not drinking in New York City.  Boom, done.

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