Heavy Browsing Holiday Wish List: 2012 Edition

We know that if you’ve been bad you get a lump of coal in your stocking (which, to be honest, sounds kind of awesome—you can totally use it to barbeque come summer), and if you’ve been good, you get rewarded with awesome presents.  Well, we don’t want to toot our own horns (yes we do), but we’ve been pretty good this year.  We didn’t put all of our drinks on our college enemy’s bar tab without her knowing even though it would have been super easy that one night.  We didn’t run on stage during our niece’s dance recital because we hate when she gets more attention than we do.  We didn’t set our neighbor’s car on fire for blocking the UPS guy the day he was supposed to deliver our new Rag & Bone boots.  Yeah, we know, we deserve some gifts.
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Unfortunately, gift-buying can be difficult.  So, in an effort to avoid another year of our parents giving us gym memberships and GMAT prep books (thanks, we get the hint) we put together this list of the things we really want.  Since we’re always thinking ahead, just in case your family and friends don’t come through this year, we’ve also included some helpful tips on acquiring these yourself.
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Also, we looked into it, turns out you can’t buy “Jon Hamm being your husband” online.

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commes

via Saks Fifth Avenue

The Wish:  Comme des Garcons, Low-Top Canvas Sneakers, $100.
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The Why:  These are perfect for all those times we’re sprinting to catch the train, or racing to get to the dry cleaners before they close, or purposely hurling ourselves in front of cars so that Ryan Gosling will save (and then obviously marry) us.
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The How:  Need $100?  Just spend one night not drinking in New York City.  Boom, done.

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dannijo-new

via Dannijo

The Wish:  Dannijo, Mira Necklace, $278.
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The Why:  Anything that helps distract from all the “I’ve been eating a lot of pie” weight.
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The How:  Two weeks of selling knives door-to-door.

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chanel-vernis

via Nordstrom

The Wish:  Chanel, Le Vernis Nail Colour in Graphite, $26.
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The Why:  It’ll look more lady-like when we’re flipping off the people who think they get the right of way just because they’re pushing a stroller even though everyone knows that proper door etiquette states that the people in the elevator get to exit the elevator before the people outside the elevator can enter.  Not that we care or anything.
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The How:  Sell your your bachelor’s degree in English at the going market rate: $20.  Add that to the $6 in your checking account.

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ring

via Erstwhile Jewelry

The Wish:  Erstwhile Jewelry, Vintage Art Deco Diamond Ring, $90,000.
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The Why:  It’ll be perfect for next year’s Halloween costume when you go as a member of the Sultan of Brunei’s harem.
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The How:  How many kidneys do you have?  How many can you get?

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marapants

via The Outnet

The Wish:  Mara Hoffman, Printed Silk Pants, $162
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The Why:  Okay, we know that we never shut up about printed pants, but as long as you’re buying them in bulk along with toilet paper and sheet cake like we are, these silk ones are pretty great.
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The How:  Less sheet cake.

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sweater-dress

via Club Monaco

The Wish:  Club Monaco, Savannah Cashmere Dress, $369.
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The Why:  This is essentially a glorified Snuggie.  When your friends invite (force) you to go out, you can wear this and it will feel like all of your other Saturday nights on the couch, minus the box of wine and Hunger Games trilogy, of course.
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The How:  Do you want to make more money?  Sure, we all do!  So, call this free number to find out how easy it is to train at home for a better career: 1-800-445-7200.

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proenza-ps13

via Barneys New York

The Wish:  Proenza Schouler, PS13 Large Leather Handbag, $2495
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The Why:  WHY THE HELL NOT?!
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The How:  Empty out your 401k.  Ha, like you’ve been contributing to your 401k.

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pumps-jcrew

via J.Crew

The Wish:  J.Crew, Collection Etta Sequin Pumps, $350
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The Why:  These are the perfect shoes to complete our “20-somethings acting like 40-somethings reliving their 20s” look.
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The How:  Hey, maybe J.Crew is hiring during the holidays.

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About Heavy Browsing

Divya and Alison are the funny ladies and avid online designer discount shoppers behind Heavy Browsing. They take fashion (and cheese and whiskey) very seriously. For more ingenious style and shopping thoughts, visit these self-professed silk blouse enthusiasts on Tumblr, and stalk them in moderation on Twitter @heavybrowsing.

One Response to “Heavy Browsing Holiday Wish List: 2012 Edition”

  1. “Less sheet cake” = brilliant

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